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Basil Fawlty vs Frasier Crane
Basil Fawlty vs Frasier Crane is a What If? Death Battle. Description Two classic comedies, Frasier and Fawlty Towers. One an enduring, 11-series staple of U.S. primetime, and the other a 12-episode gamechanger from the U.K. But which titular character will win in a battle to the end? Interlude Wiz: Whilst Fawlty Towers is considered a classic, witty, British sitcom, Frasier is often praised as the U.S.'s strongest effort in terms of channeling that same sort of sophistication and dry humour. Boomstick: And neither show would be complete without their high-strung, intellectual protagonists. Wiz: Right you are. The audiences of both nations really took both of these characters to heart because of their eccentric, overzealous behaviour. Boomstick: But that doesn't mean we can't be curious enough to pit Basil and Frasier against each other in combat. Right? Wiz: I hope not, because that's exactly what we're going to do. It's time to examine their weapons, armour and skills as we decide once and for all, who would win in a death battle! Basil Fawlty Boomstick: You'd think owning a small hotel in coastal England would be a relaxing job. Wiz: You'd think so. But more often than not, Basil Fawlty downright hates having to manage Fawlty Towers. The guests, the staff, the building itself. He can't seem to get along with any of it. Boomstick: Why does he put up with it? Surely you'd have to either go crazy or retire. Wiz: Basil may has gone with former on that one. He's prone to outbursts of intense anger, and really doesn't hold back when he feels that someone has crossed a line with him. Often the unlucky recipient of these displays is the hotel's Spanish porter, Manuel. Boomstick: The poor, little guy can't understand Basil. It's not his fault. Wiz: Yes. But Basil isn't taking the language barrier as excuse. Once he even lifted Manuel off the ground and shook him in frustration. Boomstick: That's not a crazy feat of strength considering the size difference. Wiz: Basil appears to be more than willing to pick on someone smaller than him. With Manuel standing at just 5'4 and Basil towering over him at 6ft 5, it wasn't too surprising how easily he could pick him up like that. Boomstick: That's a pretty big frame. Basil looks a little skinny however. What was it his wife called him? Wiz: An "aging, brilliantined, stick-insect", I believe was Sybil's choice of words. I suppose he is quite long-limbed and gangly that way. Boomstick: So we know he's pretty tall and sees the red mist descend at any minor annoyance. But what has he got in terms of being a fighter? Wiz: Well, he did fight in the Korean War. He even claims to have killed four men. Boomstick: Killed four men? Four of his own or four of theirs? Wiz: That very question was a joke in the series. The circumstances of these kills aren't elaborated on, and they aren't confirmed by anyone else. But Basil is seen wearing military ties from time to time, so it would add merit to the idea that he served. He also appears to have a shrapnel injury to his leg that hampers movement sometimes. Boomstick: Oh, so that's what that limp is. Wiz: Yes. Although it does seem to flare up only at moments of his choosing. So the injury may be entirely fake. Boomstick: It sounds possible. He seems pretty resilient to me. Didn't he fall off a ladder from the second storey and walk it off? Wiz: He absolutely did. Whilst he may have been fortunate in his landing, and it was onto grass, rather than a harder surface, his slightly surreal nature does come with a small dose of toon factor that protects him from injuries to a respectable degree. Oh, and there is one more thing... and it may come in handy today... Boomstick: What's that, Wiz? Wiz: He hates psychiatrists. Frasier Crane Wiz: Now, you might think as a radio host whose specialty is meant to be his measured and well-thought out advice that Frasier Crane might be a somewhat more calm and level-headed customer than Basil Fawlty. Boomstick: Not that that's saying much. Wiz: Indeed, but like Fawlty, Frasier has a habit of exploding at fairly minor inconveniences- he's extremely picky about his fancy tastes in food, music, art, literature and just about everything else. Boomstick: Didn't he shout at one of his girlfriends to get out of his apartment because she laughed at his fancy handtowels? Wiz: He most definitely did. Moving onto physical attributes, Frasier's above average height at 6'1" but will be at a notable height and reach disadvantage up against the lankier Basil. He's got a pretty sturdy build though, and even though his lack of athletic prowess is constantly laughed at throughout the show, he does look to keep himself in pretty much okay shape physically. Boomstick: Okay, so comparable enough physically. How about his fighting skills? Wiz: Well, that's probably a weaker area. Frasier's lack of coordination is constantly laughed at- he apparently couldn't catch a balloon until he was ten, struggles to hit baseballs fired from a mechanical pitching machine apparently on a 'peewee' setting, couldn't really teach himself to ride a bike, and was apparently awful at Phys Ed at school. Boomstick: But is that really a fair indicator of how much ass he's liable to kick? Wiz: That's maybe more open to debate. While his sporting skill may be terrible, Frasier does seem fairly physically strong most of the time. As for the few times we actually see him come near to blows in the series, he did once throw a man out of his favourite coffee shop for stealing his seat, and chased two guys who prank-called his show with an umbrella. The only person I ever recall actually seeing him fight was his brother Niles whose poor physical capabilties are even more of a running joke than Frasier's are. Boomstick: So, do you think in a tense sorta situation he'd be afraid of fighting Basil Fawlty, Wiz? Wiz: Well, given how disastrously wrong anything is liable to go around Basil's hotel and how picky Frasier is about his creature comforts... I'd doubt it. Category:What-If? Death Battles